Symposium on Therapy and Alt-Sexuality:  Kink

What does "kink" mean?

The Wikipedia definition of (sexual) kink, from
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" (cf. a "kink") in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour.


The leather/fetish/BDSM/kink community is composed of folk who approach and incorporate personal kinks into our lives and relationships.  We acknowledge our heart's desires and unleash our spirit to explore and celebrate.  For some, “leather” is a specific subset of the broader leather/fetish/kink community in which personal protocols incorporating respect and honor are common and wearing leather is appropriate.

What kinky things could folk do together?

Just about anything “from mild to wild.”  Keep in mind that what goes on always depends on the two (or more) people involved and what they specifically are in to / open to / have agreed to.  Here is a slew of possible ideas: 

abrasion, animal roles (puppy, pony, etc.), ball torture & ball stretching, beating, biting, blindfolds, body worship, bondage, boot worship, branding, breath control, buttplugs, cages & cells, caning, catheterization, chains, chastity, clothespins, cock torture, cock worship, collars, cowboys & cowgirls, cuttings, dildos, electricity, enemas, fire play, fisting (anal & vaginal), haircuts (flat-tops, marine high-n-tights, etc.), flogging, foot worship, fucking, gags, gas masks, glove play, group scenes, handcuffs, harnesses, hoods, ice cubes, interrogations, kidnapping, kneeling, latex clothing, leather clothing, manacles & irons, marks / bruises, medical scenes, military scenes (army, air force, navy, marines), motorcycles, mummification, obedience, pain, piercing (temporary & permanent), prison scenes, rape fantasy, rituals, rope, rubber clothing, scent worship (musk in groin & armpits for example), sensory deprivation, service / serving, sex, shaving, sleepsacks, sounds (metal urethral or vaginal rods), spanking, spirituality, spitting, straight jackets, sucking / "going down", surrender, suspension, tickling, tit clamps, tongue bath / tongue worship, uniforms (police, military, delivery man, etc.), verbal humiliation, voting to protect one's freedom of expression (including sexual and spiritual expression), water sports, wax (hot, dripping), whipping, wrestling

Some common kink relationships

·         Top/bottom – describes the doer and the done-to

·         Dominant/submissive ("D/s") – a power exchange interaction
Of note:  Submissives can choose to whom to offer their submission.  They do not have to be submissive to all Doms

·         Daddy/boy (&"boi") -- a D/s relationship where often the boy has some input

·         pup/Handler – generally a playful relationship

·         Master/slave -- a control/obedience relationship where the slave strives to conform to the Master's will

·         Polyamorous ("poly") -- multi-member families

·         The Nine Degrees Of Submission can help discern between nuances of submission


Acknowledging and acting on one’s kinks can be a coming out process.

Google also “The Good of BDSM.”

About this presenter

Officer Wes has been presenting on a variety of fun kink topics for 25 years.  His experiences and viewpoints have appeared in many publications including USA Today and The Advocate.  He is credited as an influence in the books "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave" and "Master/slave Relations."  His Web sites on sexuality, health and kink have been visited by over a quarter of a million people.  He was an inaugural mentor for SAADE, a formal mentoring program for new dominants that instructs its apprentices not only in physical SM practices but on the mental, emotional and spiritual dynamics of BDSM as well.  Officer Wes has an open leather family built around shared values of respect, honor, trust, and love.  He has a slave and dogslave and is himself in service to a Daddy.  Resources and information at